I read a review of “The Lone Ranger” by Leonard Maltin that highlights most of the things that can and do go wrong with big summer movies. I’ve trimmed it down to Maltin’s key points. In italics I’ve written what I imagine might have been said at the script conference:
Why bother making a film called The Lone Ranger if your intention is to turn the famous hero into a doofus and his noble Indian friend into a wisecracking Greek chorus? You still ought to provide the audience with someone to root for…
He [Tonto] is played mostly for laughs, like Jack Sparrow. Except he’s not all that funny.
Helena Bonham Carter turns up, briefly and inexplicably as a dance-hall madam with a high-tech shooting device for a leg.
Nothing much makes sense—like Tonto dragging an unconscious Ranger through a fresh pile of horse dung.
Everything is impressively staged on an enormous scale…
The long, climactic chase scene is jammed with the kind of overblown CGI stunts that render everything unreal and, therefore, unexciting.
There’s nothing remotely genuine or sincere about The Lone Ranger [movie].
Jurgen Wolff has written more than 100 episodes of TV, the mini-series “Midnight Man,” starring Rob Lowe, the feature film “The Real Howard Spitz,” starring Kelsey Grammar, and books including “Your Writing Coach” and “Your Creative Writing Masterclass.” His next online Massive Action Day, on Sat. July 27, is free to Raindance Premium members.