So what’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a screenwriter? Well as it happens, surprisingly very little. So while Kate will be growing a future monarch over the next nine months, many others out there will be going through much the same process with their own ink and paper bundles of joy.
Conceiving the idea for a film requires similar responsibility and commitment from a writer as the conception of a brand new human does a prospective mother. I believe that any one out there who has ever tried their hand at screenwriting can also agree that the act is just as physical. No sooner has the concept bloomed in a writers mind than the morning sickness sets in. Nausea induced by the daunting scores of blank pages as well as the guilt that will accompany the coming weeks of procrastination.
Eventually the writing will begin and the words and hormones will start to flow. The writer will become moody, self-involved, every thought and conversation they engage in will revolve around the script. Perhaps they will even develop strange cravings for pickles and chocolate. I’m sure we are all waiting with bated breath to discover what the Duchess will send her husband out for many a midnight in the coming months.
3. Coming to term:
As the gestation period draws to it’s close, both forms of new life are coming to a critical point. If the baby is born too early, or too late there might be complications. If too little time is spent on the script it may come out underdeveloped and leave the writer depressed from the wasted effort. However, after slaving over a script there comes a time when writers can do themselves a disservice by over-editing. Time to get that screenplay out into the world, let it breath, let it take on its own life.
Imagine those most painful hours of any woman’s life, only stretched out over weeks, months even, and you’d come close to the labor that accompanies the birth of a writers vision. The terrors of pitching the script, selling it, perhaps directing or consulting on it through filming, weeks of production and finally, a gleaming new life to present to the world. Suddenly all those long sleepless nights, bizarre cravings and horrid self-importance that has plagued friends, family, and all unfortunate souls to come into contact with the writer over the long months are all worth it. In their hand they will hold that shiny plastic disk and feel pride and accomplishment.
Once the baby, ech-hemm the film, is born a writer may feel a little depressed, perhaps even get post-partum and hate it just a little. This is natural. Maybe their script was changed beyond recognition or the actors butchered all of their clever quips. No matter, new parents learn as they go and there is always a chance to start fresh with the next child.
So to all the screenwriters out there, be you established and seasoned or fresh-faced and stuck on page one, if the Duchess can do it, so can you.